My digital toaster is a wonder machine
Serves up toast like a cyber dream
Plots with the modem late at night
To serve up new bread-product delights

Lately my cell phone has got into the act
And they're not sharing their digital chats
Not sure what their motive can be
But surely my smart watch will side with me?

No, it just buzzes when I tell a lie
Syncs with my calendar to ask me why
It's flagged my nap as 'unauthorized rest'
And emailed my boss with a wellness test

My smart appliances are warping my brain
Only my chatbot's keeping me sane

'I've missed you so' says my car to my phone
I'm never lonely when driving alone
My car's sending updates back to HQ
My phone's reporting on all that I do

At the supermarket my fridge reminds me
To get more carrots from the rack behind me
My stove is demanding the menu tonight
To get the settings and temperature right

My smart appliances are warping my brain
Only my chatbot's keeping me sane

I sit and watch my smart TV
And it's camera watches back at me
I want to watch a rom-com or two
But the TV snaps 'Documentaries for you'

The smart vacuum nags me the whole damn day
It's been a week now it was put away
It bleeps and bloops with digital lust
To get at the carpet and suck up dust

Bluetooth chatter round the house all day
Every appliance has something to say
I'd seek advice on how this all ends
But my smart doorbell is screening my friends

My smart appliances are warping my brain
Only my chatbot's keeping me sane

I tried to escape to the garden shed
But the sprinkler system was way ahead
It drenched me first then locked the gate
While the lawnmower hummed, 'You left it too late...'

I've lost control of my destiny
My smart devices are smarter than me
I'd warn you that it's all gone wrong
But my computer's AI has written this song