If anything can go wrong it will
It was true back then
And it's true still
So take a beat, and please just pause
And consider this first
Of Murphy's laws

If you're going out on a dinner date
Assume the taxi is gonna be late
The restaurant has lost your booking
A drunken chef is doing the cooking
If the meal's to your satisfaction
Your date develops an allergic reaction
Murphy's law - don't you doubt it
Nothing can be done about it
But if you're braced for the coming disaster,
You get out of the wreckage much faster

Now you've seen what law one can do
Brace yourself for law number two
You'll find out what I mean
When life seems calm and so serene
When everything is going just fine
Trouble's coming down the line
Calm is the velvet glove on the iron fist
About to hit you with what you missed
The second law is to alert you
What you don't know can really hurt you

Now you're ready for number three
And this one hits more brutally
Rule three is totally ironclad
Whatever you think - it's twice as bad
Relatives visiting for the day?
Murphy suggests you run away
Think a date might not go well?
Murphy says it will be hell
Face it with zen and a prepared mind
Invite the universe to kiss your behind
Because Murphy's laws come with a twist
You can't disappoint a pessimist

I have to mention that because
There's a corollary to Murphy's Laws
One final detail you might have missed
...
...
Murphy was an optimist