When you learn a new language, you soon discover that it is not just the vocabulary and grammar which are different. Every country is different in what people think is polite behaviour and what is rude. English is a very polite language, so it is important to know how to agree and disagree with people in English without being rude. (And also how to be rude if you want to be!)

In this section we will give different ways for you to agree, disagree, and also show you how you can say something without agreeing or disagreeing.

There are two kinds of sentence you will have to agree or disagree with - suggestions and statements .

For example:

Let's go to the park. (suggestion)
It's a lovely day today. (statement)

Agreeing

If you get a suggestion from someone who can give orders (your boss, a teacher, a policeman), remember that English people often give orders as suggestions. If these suggestions are really orders, you should answer them as orders.

For example:

Mike, why don't you speak to Sally about that?
I'll do it immediately, boss.

However if your friend makes a suggestion, you answer differently.

For example:

Mike, why don't we go to the cinema this evening?
Sure. Good idea.

In a conversation, people make statements, and may want to know if you agree with them. Sometimes the speaker will use a question tag to invite you to agree with what he has said.

For example:

It's a lovely day today, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
You don't like golf, do you?
No, I don't.

Remember that if you give a very short answer - for example just 'yes' or 'no', the person who is speaking to you might think that you do not like his suggestion, or that you are not happy for another reason. (Your tone of voice is important too.)

For example:

Shall we go to the cinema this evening?
Ok.
What's the matter? Don't you want to go?

Instead of just a short 'ok' you could say:

'Okay, I'd like that'
'Ok, that's a good idea'
'Yes, why not?'
'Ok, let's.'

With statements, how you reply depends on whether the speaker is giving an opinion or stating a fact.

For example:

The road is very busy today.
This is stating a fact so you might comment 'Yes, isn't it?'.(You can also use question tags when agreeing with something).
But in this example:
The town council should do something about this road.
This is an opinion, so you might say ' 'Yes, I agree.'

In English there are many ways of expressing agreement with opinions. As well as I agree you could have said That's right or definitely, or absolutely or, if you strongly agree I couldn't agree more.

Disagreeing

Agreeing is easy - but you have to know exactly how to disagree, so that you can do it without upsetting the person you are speaking to. As always, your tone of voice is important - if you have to disagree with someone, try not to do it an angry way.

If you are disagreeing with a suggestion, it is polite to give a reason.

For example:

Shall we stop for a coffee?
No, I can't - I have to get home.

You can also suggest something else instead.

For example:

Let's go to the cinema this evening.
There's nothing I want to see. Why don't we go to a club?

English people may also disagree indirectly. They will not say 'no' because it is not polite, but they will give reasons why you should not do what you are suggesting, or why your opinion is wrong.

For example:

Shall we open the window?
It's rather cold outside.
or:
Fred is so stupid!
Well, he got 90% in his last exam.
(Notice - people often put null words such as "Well", or "Actually" or "As a matter of fact" before giving their disagreement. This makes it less strong.)

Another way of disagreeing is to make the disagreement more general.

For example:

Everyone ought to pay more taxes.
Some people might not agree with you.
or :
Not everyone thinks so.

Or maybe you want to disagree strongly. If so, you can apologise before you disagree.

For example:

Everyone ought to pay more taxes.
I'm sorry, but I don't agree.
or :
I'm afraid I can't agree with that.

Another way to strongly disagree is to give your opinion of what the other person has just said.

For example:

The accident was your fault.
That is nonsense.
or :
You are completely wrong.
or simply :
Rubbish!

Sometimes English people don't agree with you, but don't want to get into a discussion about it.

For example:

Bidwell Rovers are the worst football team in the world.
Well, that's your opinion.
or :
Oh, do you think so?
or :
Maybe, maybe not.
or simply :
Mmmmm

Well, that's all about agreeing and disagreeing. (Yes, it is.) It is a good idea to watch on TV or videos to see how people agree and disagree. (Yes, that's right.) Now, why don't we do some exercises? (Yes, that's a good idea.) And after a bit of practice, you will become the best English speaker in the world! (Maybe, maybe not ... !)