The million pound banknote

'I'm so grateful! Just to find someone who is interested in me and what I am doing. After what has happened to me here here - Lord! I could go down on my knees for it!' He gripped my hand hard, and straightened himself up. He was all right and cheerful after that, so then we got ready for the dinner - which didn't happen.

'No; the usual thing happened. This always happens with that horrible and annoying English system - no-one could decide who was the most important person there, so there was no dinner. Englishmen always eat dinner before they go out to dinner, because they know that this might happen. But nobody ever warns the stranger, and so he walks placidly into the trap. Of course, nobody was hurt this time, because we had all eaten dinner already. None of us were new to this except Hastings, and when Hastings was invited by the Ambassador he was told that because of this the English custom there would not be any dinner.

Because it is usual to act as though dinner will happen, everybody took a lady and we went down to the dining-room. There the usual problems began. The Duke of Shoreditch wanted to sit at the head of the table, saying that he was more important than the Ambassador, but I refused to let him have his way.